Birthday Eve(lyn)

Exactly six years ago to this very moment, I was entering hour 19 of labor with my first baby, my Evelyn, and I had no idea what was going on. I was so tired and overwhelmed, but I knew I had to stay calm and in control. Finally, at 5:31 am the doctor said “It’s a girl!” and a huge rush of relief and joy and gratitude overcame me. I was now a mother.

Six years. Six years. How is it possible that six years has passed?  When I look at my beautiful girl, it makes sense: she has grown so much!  But, it also means that I am six years older, and I just don’t think that is really possible.

To say that Evelyn is a blessing would be an understatement.  She is so kind and smart and patient. I know she wants more time and attention from me, but with three younger siblings it can be a challenge for her to get what she needs.  So, she patiently waits for bedtime when I lay with her to tell me all that is going on in her life.  Sometimes we talk about how she would like to decorate her room. Lately she wants to discuss plans for her birthday party. Always I tell her how much I love her.

The love I have for Evelyn is special.  She taught me how to be a mother. She reminds me of myself in so many ways.  I was also the oldest girl of a large family, so I know what thoughts are often on her mind.  I ask a lot of her (help with Ben, empty the dishwasher, share!, use manners), but she always makes me proud by doing the right thing.  She is such a good girl.

The joy of watching my kids grow up comes along with a pang of sadness.  How the years fly by! How their uneasy steps too quickly turn into running strides! How I so desperately try to speed up and slow down every day! I want to press pause, for a moment, every now and then, so I can truly live in the most precious moment that is now.

I now look at this girl who is so tall and radiantly beautiful.

I am in awe.

Of what I created. Of who she is becoming on her own.

I love you, Evie!

Happy Birthday Eve!



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