Evie and I reached a new milestone in our relationship yesterday.
She lied to me. For the first time.
It all started innocently enough. I made a batch of cupcakes to serve for dessert, and after she repeatedly picked at them while they cooled on the counter I moved them to an out-of-reach spot on top of our toaster. While I went upstairs to take care of some laundry, someone pushed a chair up to the counter and someone reached into the cupcakes and dug well into more than a few.
When I asked Evie what happened, she immediately denied responsibility. When I pushed a little further for an answer, she told me Mack was at fault. After I reminded her that Mack was in the shower with Dad (and too short to reach the toaster, anyway!), she then told me it was their toy robot who ate the cupcakes. Hmmmmm…
I gave Evie several opportunities to fess up, but it seemed like the more complicated the web she spun, the less likely it was that I was going to get an honest answer out of her. It was clear that she didn’t want to disappoint me, and I am grateful for that. But because I want to stop the lying before it becomes a problem, I sent her to her room with instructions not to leave until she told the truth and apologized.
I was so disappointed – not that she swiped a few sneaky bites of cupcakes, but that she wasn’t being honest with me. I know this is something I’ll probably have to get used to as she gets older, but its hard to think that she’s old enough to A) lie and B) formulate a completely fake story to cover her tracks.
I want Evie and me to enjoy a relationship that is based on honesty and trust. She can come to me with any problem and I will help her solve it. I hope she always knows this – I’m telling the absolute truth when I say it!
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Don’t jump to conclusions Maureen. They make really high-tech robots these days.
You’re right. I should apologize to Evie for not believing her robot story. Silly me!
Sit back…you’re in for a long ride! We are all human! Trusting, believing and recognizing when your kid is being less than honest is a growing moment for you too! Remember, “parenthood” didn’t come with directions…we follow our gut whether it’s hungry for a few cupcakes or turning in disbelief. Just always let your kid know that YOU KNOW THE TRUTH and as they grow up they will come to fear letting you down more than fear getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar! You did the right thing Maureen…kudos!
Maureen, what a tough thing to go through! You and I are going through these phases at pretty much the same time, so I don’t have the answers, but I feel for you. Just a couple thoughts… first, take comfort in knowing Evie is reaching an important milestone (knowing she can create stories and others will listen to her and believe her.)
And one piece of advice from our doctor, don’t give them the chance to lie. If you know they did something, don’t ask if they did it as young children can’t control the urge to say they’re innocent. She says instead say something like “I asked you not to eat those cupcakes yet, and you’ll need to go to time out.” She says children feel guilty when they do something wrong and that they actually welcome punishment (e.g. time out). I’m not sure if this advice will work or not, but I thought it was interesting. Miss you, Maureen! You’re such a great mom.
That is such good advice! Thank you for sharing!!!!
The accompanying photo is amazing. I love the small little chunks missing from the cupcakes!
I’m with Kelly though – the robot story may be true. I did give her a robot for Christmas this year….hmm
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