Thank You for Helping Me

Perhaps one of the greatest misconceptions of our time is that women can now, after thousands of years of toil and turmoil, “have it all.”

For all the youngin’s out there, I have some breaking news:

You cannot have it all.

No one gets to have an amazingly fulfilling career while raising a family while running a household while tending to a marriage while going on global adventures while maintaining great friendships while finding time to go to the gym while enjoying “me time” with a cup of tea and a yoga mat and a good book.

No one.

And anyone who portrays herself as “having it all” is lying.

Everything comes with sacrifice. Working full-time sacrifices time with kids. Staying home full-time sacrifices career opportunities. Simply having kids sacrifices time to do almost everything else.

Which is why we all need help.

It is not in my nature to loudly ask for help. For better or worse, I was raised to not bother other people with problems I should otherwise solve on my own. But, this resistance and pride has caught up with me many times, and I’ve worn myself out to the point of exhaustion. For me, it takes courage to ask for help.

I am so grateful for the help of many people in my life:

Chris: my husband is the best. Among many other things, he: tidies the house so we can start Roomba, gets the kids ready on mornings I head to the office, fixes anything that breaks (including hard things like dishwashers and anything that involves a fuse), takes the kids out to the courtyard when I NEED quiet, and plans fun date nights. I am the luckiest.

My parents: they are the first to step in when last-minute emergencies arise (like, the Father’s Day my Dad took me and Mack to the ER). My mom pops over to watch the kids often – for them a visit from her is the highlight of their week thanks to her calm presence. She sometimes drops off homemade dinner, and the first bite always transports me back to my childhood.

My grandparents: I am so lucky to have my grandparents just a few miles down the road. They also raised a large family (with twins at the end!) and, I swear, they have a sixth sense for when I need a break. I am so grateful for the meals they drop off and the extra hugs they provide.

Khrystyna: she is pretty much the only person I feel ok leaving all six kids with. She takes the kids to parks on fine days, and reads them books inside on rainy days. When I leave them in her care, I come home to a tidy house and happy kids. I am grateful for her smile, patience and energy.

Iwona: she comes once a week to clean the house. For 10 years I stubbornly resisted adding this expense to our monthly budget – until I broke my leg last summer.  Now that Iwona is part of our family I can’t imagine life without her help. I am grateful for her time and expertise!

Friends & Neighbors: gosh, I feel so grateful anytime a friend or neighbor can pick up my kid because I’m stuck in traffic or the twins are napping. Having a network of fellow parents is a huge help, and I am always happy to help them, too.

It takes a village!

Did you like this? Share it:

Written by

More posts by:

Leave a comment