It happened seemingly overnight. Under cover of darkness while we innocently slept, it crept into my home, took hold and hasn’t left. It follows us everywhere and rears its doe-eyed head at all hours of the day.
This sneaky problem I speak of?
Princesses.
Like most little girls, Evie is absolutely head-over-heals in love with princesses. Disney princesses. Princesses in pony form. Princess costumes and princess shoes and princess coloring books.
When I was a women’s studies minor in college I swore that any little girls I someday had would not be exposed to the Disney princess machine. I don’t like the overall message these movies convey: that the only way a damsel in distress can dig her way out of a hole is with the help of a handsome man who falls in love with her beauty well before her brains. And, I especially don’t like the way these princesses are marketed to impressionable and innocent young girls. Its about constant consumption, and because we strive to live a simpler life I don’t want to feel pressured into buying more stuff.
However, I softened my stance when my cousin Kathleen gave Evie an old copy of a princess book. Evie beamed with joy and excitement as we read the stories. She turned on her perma-smile for the entirety of the book, and I couldn’t help but smile along with her. If something so simple made her so happy, who was I to stand in the way?
This princess issue was a turning point for me as a mother. It was something I had felt so strongly about, and yet I was suddenly and unexpectedly shifting my attitude. I can’t expect my kids to do and feel and say everything like me. They are their own people with their own growing opinions, and while its my job to teach them my values in hopes that they will make wise decisions, its also my job to help them define their own values, too. Living as a family requires compromise, and this was one issue I decided to compromise on.
Evie’s great-grandparents sent her money for Valentine’s Day, and with it she wanted to buy “The Princess and the Frog” DVD. It was her money, and I want her to feel like she is old enough to make a small decision like this for herself. As soon as I turned the movie on her beautiful face lit up, and I smiled, too. When she is so sweetly happy, so am I!
I loved the Disney princess movies when I was little (I’m pretty sure my sisters and I nearly wore out our VHS tape of “Cinderella”), and somehow I managed to figure out that a girl doesn’t need a man to live a wonderful life…that tiny waists and little feet and porcelain features aren’t the only way to define beauty…and that in the long run its nothing more than a bedtime story.
Homemade Mothering is a movement that aims to simplify life and foster self-reliance while being kinder to our families and the planet. Its about encouraging people to get back to the basics when it comes to mothering and homekeeping. 
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I loved this post! It brought back memories of loving everything Princess when we were all kids. I’m happy you compromised on this one 🙂
I loved Disney movies as a little girl, too (I still love all the old classics, and “Beauty and the Beast” ranks up there as one of my favorite movies yet), and I’m not a girly-girl at all. In fact, my husband always says that one of the things that attracted him to me was that I am quite self-sufficient (that I wasn’t like most of the other girls he knew who were on the prowl for a boyfriend/husband). :~)
Oops, entered too soon. All that to say, Evie will be just fine!
I was just laughing a little, I love your site by the way. I guess just because Im old enough to be your mother and grew up in a different time but I had never thought of the “feminist thinking” connected something like Cinderella ,its a part of growing up ,it all turns out in the long run and pretend is so much fun . Making believe ,pretend and play is the way they learn and that is their “job” for their age it all turns out in the long run.
Right on! I also have two darling little girls and a feminist ‘tude. But lo and behold, our DVD and toy shelves are chock full of princesses. I tend to casually focus on each princess’ best point, i.e. Cinderella believes the dreams that you wish will come true. Which is what I totally believe so I totally talk that up.