Now that I have just a couple weeks left in my fourth pregnancy, I am starting to feel all the familiar anxieties. I know that as soon as the baby is born life will be in a tailspin for at least a few months. Our current routine will be all but forgotten as we struggle to just make it through the days on minimal sleep. The house will be a mess and mealtimes will be simpler than we are used to. For at least a little while, we’ll all just have to adjust our expectations for what every day can offer.
Even though I know life will be more challenging once #4 arrives, I am pretty much ready to be done being pregnant. I don’t like to admit it, but being pregnant is hard. And being pregnant with three other little ones is especially hard. I am exhausted. Like, all the time. Carrying around this extra weight is one thing, but with my mind racing I also have a hard time staying asleep at night. Life’s to-do list is never-ending, and I lay awake in the wee hours wondering how on earth I will get it all done.
I miss wearing clothes that fit and actually flatter my body. I hate the nightly heartburn and daily round ligament pain. I want to walk like a normal person, and I’d love to sprint on the treadmill like I used to. I want to eat oysters and cookie dough and raw cheese. I want to enjoy cocktail hour with Chris (lately I have been really craving his cosmopolitan!).
But, giving up these little luxuries is an incredibly small price for the unbelievable reward at the end of 40 long weeks. Oh, that feeling when the little slippery human rests on my chest for the first time! And those tiny fingers and toes! And baby’s sweet milk breath – how I love it!!
The miracle of the whole process eclipses whatever physical strain I might be facing right now. How lucky am I to be part of the human population that has the capability to create, sustain and nurture new life! Every little kick and hiccup from within gently reminds me of the tiny creature depending on my small sacrifices. Life in all its stages is so, so precious.
I know many women are waiting for their turn to experience this miracle, and I send prayers in hopes they get their chance. It really is an honor and a privilege to be pregnant…
…even though I am ready to be done!
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