Over the past couple months, the news has slowly emerged that we are expecting our fourth baby. I’m not a big “announcer” and I don’t like attention directed at me, so I am always a little quiet about sharing news like this. Plus, I am guarded and anxious when it comes to the baby growing inside me. I know babies are lost and lives are changed, and should the worst happen I want to accept it in my own way and in my own time without the (kind and thoughtful) interference of others.
When the baby reached 12 weeks, we started to tell our friends and family the thrilling news. But, many of the initial reactions I received weren’t quite what I was expecting. Many people said we were crazy and totally out of our minds for having four kids. One family member deadpanned “Oh Jesus. Not again.” And another suggested I have a chat with my doctor because my “tubes can be tied so this sort of thing doesn’t happen again.” But, I don’t take any of it personally: four kids is a lot these days – even one kid is a lot of work for a family – so I know most of these comments were more likely made in jest (and disbelief!) than truly mean-spirited.
But, I’ve already started to forget the negativity to make permanent room in my brain for all the loving and positive comments. Like when I told my best friend Laura and she said “Meau, I am so happy for you and Bruzer!!!!” Or when we FaceTimed the news with my parents and they both smiled wide at the thought of their TENTH grandchild. And especially when we told the kids. Mack gave Chris a *high-five* and Evie was ELATED. Like, seriously she was floating on air. She even woke me up early the next day just to confirm that the news was real and not just a dream.
And, perhaps most importantly: Chris and I are THRILLED. We are extremely grateful, and we feel so excited and anxious to meet the newest member of our young family. This baby is special and important. Just like ALL babies are. We were all tiny miracles at one time.
Last week we had our 20 week ultrasound (a few weeks late), and the baby is healthy and growing. I loved seeing the perfect nose and teeny toes and strong heartbeat. By coincidence, the day of my big ultrasound was the same day my sister welcomed her baby into the world. I swelled with excitement and anticipation upon holding little Cece. I can’t wait to meet my next baby!
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